


His

by followmetoyourdoom



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Song fic, im sorry my sweet grumpy avocado
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/followmetoyourdoom/pseuds/followmetoyourdoom
Summary: A song fic (yes I know, rather old school but I genuinely like writing them) centring around Strickler's thoughts as he's in a relationship with Barbara as seen in the show, and then the aftermath of the last ep. More on the latter.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on  Little Hell by City & Colour. It's an amazing song and, personally, I think it fits the pairing perfectly ^-^

Strickler had his doubts, of course he did. He had doubts about how he felt about Barbara, how he could ever make it work should those doubts clear and become truth.

_       What if I can't be all that you need me to be _

Sometimes, he wishes there was a way to pause the world. Not to end it, just pause it for a little while. To stay in this moment. With Barbara in his arms, her warmth, the pressure of her. All so real and here with him. The world could wait; right now, he was happy.

_ We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep _

However, he did after all, have plans. Plans that hadn't counted on women or relationships. On him falling in love.

_ But my addiction it can be such a detriment _

He went through with those plans regardless. It was his downfall - his thirst for power.

_ Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent _

Strickler had apologise. Or tried to. He knew it had been a stupid decision to tie their fates; he'd even hesitated. He no longer knew if it had been bravery that made him hesitate, or bravery that made him go through with it. 

Regardless, look where it had got him.

_ What if everything's just the way that it will be _

Maybe tying their fates together had just been, well, his fate - his destiny.

_ Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief _

Dating her, being with her - for however brief a time, their relationship, his mistake, his doubts, his conflicts, loving her, the pain - his pain her pain, it was all the same. Thanks to him. 

_ My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart _

But no. He'd brought this upon himself.

_ And my aim is steady and true as it's been right from the start _

There was no thread of fate or greater universal purpose to what he'd done. He'd acted alone and in a selfish pursuit of power.

To prove he was more than just… impure.

_ There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me _

No. His pursuit of power hadn't been completely selfish. Yes he wanted to rule, but he wanted those like him by his side. 

_ From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories _

Those that had been cast aside, thought of as nothing more than puppets for Gunmar to manipulate. Fists clenched at the memories.

_ If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all _

He'd been a slave since he'd entered the human world. And the truth was that now he wasn't, now that he was no longer being told what to do, no longer had a plan… He didn't know what to do.

Strickler had nowhere to go. He was despised in the world below; and, once the trollhunters rescued his familiar, he wouldn't be able to stay in the world above.

He had nowhere, and no one.

_ So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape _

And so he let himself daydream. Because that's what lost people do, they dream of being found.

_ We'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday _

He dreamt of Barbara, of starting anew. No trolls, no Gunmar, no plans or plots or magic. Just them, and Jim he supposed. A family.

_ I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well _

He dreamt, and he hoped, and he wished.

_ Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid us of this little hell _

Love. Happiness. Acceptance. All unobtainable to him, all things he'd briefly had with Barbara and then stupidly thrown away. He'd used her, he'd hurt her and her son. It didn't matter that Jim was the Trollhunter, his once nemesis. He was her son first and foremost.

What Strickler had done… it was despicable and unforgivable.

_ There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me _

He would never be enough, could never do enough good to redeem himself. The very idea was laughable.

_ From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories. _

So he would hide in the shadows, and remember that short period of time when he'd had a life worth living.

_ If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all _

Strickler could forget the rest, forget everything; just so long as he didn't forget her, and why he couldn't go back to her. Even if she didn't remember, he would.

It was his fault.

_ Will we get out of this little hell _

His choice.

_ Will we get out of this little hell _

His mistake.

_ Will we get out of this little hell _

His.

_ Will we get out of this little hell _

She had been. For a while.


End file.
